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The Best Ever Book of Liverpool Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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A dad who was known for his smile and positive energy died suddenly hours after coming home from the Liverpool derby.

It’s no secret that in Liverpool we have a huge collection of popular sayings that you wouldn’t hear anywhere else. Everyone’s favourite brekkie radio queen, Leanne Campbell made the most funny scouser list. Teaming up with Scott Hughes to bring you the days news and not end up in stitches at least 5 times a show is standard for the multi-talented Leanne. Not content with giving us a giggle in the mornings, her podcast, Ladies of Liverpool has made us howl laughing, cry tears of empathy and marvel at the amazing women of this city. Stan Boardman

One week later the three were all killed in a car crash. While in Heaven's waiting room, they were all entitled to a private conference with God, who would answer for them one question. A man arrives at the gates of heaven, where St. Peter greets him and asks, “Before I let you in, I must ask you what you have done in your life that was particularly good.” These were all the best Everton jokes after their dramatic 4-0 defeat to Liverpool in the Merseyside derby on Wednesday night.

What is the difference between Arsenal’s players going to Chelsea and Chelsea’s players going to Arsenal? The second passenger is Elon Musk: I am the founder of SpaceX and king of the electric vehicle (EV) industry. – I’m an influence. He takes another one and jumps. Former United defender Neville said: “The second half has been an absolute disgrace, a shambles, epitomised by no-one more than the captain, Bruno Fernandes, who I think has been embarrassing at times in this game. Receive newsletters with the latest news, sport and what's on updates from the Liverpool ECHO by signing up hereThe one, the only Pete Price, Liverpool’s Citizen of Honour and greatest radio phone in host ever! The man, the lizard (apparently) has had an incredible 50 year career in entertainment. The natural ability to have any size audience in absolute uproar laughing, Pete travelled the world as a stand up comic after winning 70’s talent show ‘New Faces’. Now he’s either having a rant with us at The Guide Liverpool or hosting his long running Radio City phone in show – with hysterical results. Liverpool pays tribute to Pete’s amazing career here. Freddie Starr The most one-sided derby I’ve ever seen. If Everton had scored all their shots, they’d have still lost! #LFC #EFC The Spurs fan put his cap over one breast, the Watford fan put his cap over the other, and the Gooner put his cap "down below". They’re having a laugh and a joke and rubbish. Then the second half and the lads are throwing the towel in, you expect to be laughing at the end of the game."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?" Hats off to Jürgen Klopp. He’s become a proper scouser, someone the fans can really relate to and hail as one of their own. His friends think that that’s a little bit weird because he has been the biggest LFC fan his whole life.From selling Avon to pretending to be The Chaser, there were some classic 'your da' jokes that everyone suggested.

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