Strengthening My Recovery

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Struggling with “I” statements will often reveal the hidden aspects of the issues at hand. If you truly want to disclose your feelings so that you and others can learn more about you, use an “I” statement! While the inner circle relates to behaviors which keep us in permanent isolation and fantasy, the outer circle refers to behaviors which help us move out into the real world.” At first, I didn’t think I belonged in SAA. I brought many negative pre-judgments, and I was embarrassed when we would go around the room to share. After several months and with the help of my sponsor, it started to sink in. I now look forward to meetings and feel empty if I miss one.

Step Eleven: Prayer and Meditation - SoCal ACA Step Eleven: Prayer and Meditation - SoCal ACA

Chapter 7 Study: introduces ACA newcomers to the ACA Steps and is a renewal for the experienced member to the Steps, and their various adaptations, have brought sure hope and a better way of life to those who desire change. In ACA, the Twelve Steps also bring recovery to our members who were not raised with addiction in the home. Our experience shows that these ACA members internalized the same abandonment and shame as children brought up in alcoholism or other addictions. Chapters 10-16, Deepening Your Reparenting Skills, help you deepen your reparenting skills to protect, nurture, support, and guide your inner family. Through reparenting, we learn to use spiritual principles in our daily lives to replace old ways of thinking and reacting. The Solution states: “By gradually releasing the burden of unexpressed grief, we slowly move out of the past. We learn to reparent ourselves with gentleness, humor, love, and respect.” When sharing with an individual or as part of a group, using “I” statements can make a big difference. An “I” statement is sharing in the first person, as opposed to using words such as “we,” “they,” “us,” and “you.” At first, it may seem like an insignificant detail, but using third person statements is distancing and impersonal. ACA is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition support group focused on understanding the specific behavior and attitude patterns we developed while growing up in an alcoholic or other dysfunctional environment. These patterns continue to affect us today.Gradually we begin to recognize the negative parenting messages from our childhoods that drive our lives. We learn how to replace them with healthy behaviors. This is a first step toward “reparenting”. As we gradually reparent our selves, our outlook on life changes. We begin to look at it from an emotionally mature perspective. Ultimately we become happier, stronger, more capable people – more able to handle life. We learn to respect others and ourselves. The quality of our lives improves as we learn to define and communicate our boundaries, and insist that they be honored.

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We are asked to let go of our struggle to control, and to turn to God, as we understand God, for our direction. The ACA Twelve Traditions provide guidelines for group conduct just as the ACA Steps provide guidelines for individual recovery.I” statements build my self respect while offering others a true opportunity to have a real relationship with me.